Faith, Trust, and...Pixie Dust?

Trust.

It seems to be a problem of mine, or else Jesus wouldn't bring it up so often.

"As the scripture says, 'Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.'" Romans 10:11

I'm terrified to say everything is going to be all right.  I believe Jesus told me so, but what if I say it and it doesn't actually happen?  Does that mean my faith is smaller than a mustard seed, because I'm facing a mountain and it doesn't seem to be moving so much?

How big is faith like a mustard seed anyway?

They say that if you have enough faith to ask some one if they need prayer, you have faith at least as big as a mustard seed.  The mountain you pray for will be moved.

I have faith to pray for this situation. 

God said it will happen, but it hasn't yet.  Now I have to trust. 

The bible says to trust with "all your heart."  How do I trust with all my heart when my heart is aching because the very thing that I'm praying for is ripping it apart?

I simply need to remember I wont be put to shame.  I wont be embarrassed, or teased, laughed at or ridiculed.  I just need to trust.

Wouldn't it be easier if everyone I know with tough stuff going on could fly away from these situations and take a break from all the crap that makes our lives suck on a daily basis?

Sadly, there is no such thing as pixie dust. 

Back to plan A; I need to learn to trust.

Gratitude

I love thanksgiving!

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, to write down everything I am thankful for is impossible. The list would be so incredibly long that I would die from hunger before I finished; especially considering that I have not eaten breakfast yet.

Therefore, I've decided to do an abbreviated list focusing on why I am thankful to be at my house, as opposed to still being at school.

1. Better quality toilet paper: I never realized that I missed it until I used the bathroom and my fingers weren't slightly damp afterwards.
2. A fully equipped kitchen: butter knifes and itty bitty sauce pans have their limits, but my Mom's kitchen?  Anything is possible there!
3. My own room: no, I did not get dressed right after getting out of the shower yesterday.  I laid under the covers and watched a TV show for two hours instead.  Perhaps I shouldn't have said that, but when some one you hardly know catches you naked, it makes being naked in your room a little less comforting.  Unless, of course, they have seen you naked since you/they were born (i.e. my mom, my sisters etc) 
4. A comfy couch: the stupid couches at school have hard backs and solid arm rests, but real couches in real houses are much more squishy.
5. One toilet, one shower, one sink, one person: I really love the girls on my floor, but did you ever want to brush your teeth alone?  Call me crazy, but sometimes I do. 
6. Hand Towels: students at colleges across the country use so many paper towels in all of their bathrooms.  I wash my hands, I dry them with the paper towels.  I wash my face, I dry them with the paper towels. I spill stuff on the floor, I dry it with paper towels.  I need tissue paper to wrap a present in, I use paper towels.  SO MANY DEAD TREES!
7. Hugs: family gives hugs all the time, without the awkward "who's on top?" and "I don't like touch" problems.  I am certain I do not get enough hugs at school, and it is bad for my health.
8. Predictable "floormates": yesterday, my little sister came into my room.  She set her scarf on my desk and her coffee on my window sill.  Despite her promise to remember both when she left, I still bet against her.  As predicted, both the coffee and scarf were there long after she left.  It is comforting to know the habits of the people around you.
9. Friendly Fire: as in, fighting-my-littlest-sister-tooth-and-nail-for-the-chocolate-that-I-stole-from-her-because-if-I-didn't-steal-hers-first-she-might-have-stolen-mine-and-I-wanted-to-win.  Considering I enjoyed two truffles compared to her single piece, I consider myself victorious.
10. Mediation: when two of the sisters start fighting, without fail the third, and/or fourth, will step up to try and stop the argument.  No one came to my rescue when my roommate-whom-I-love-so-much was sitting on me the other day. (POST-PUBLICATION EDIT: My roommate whom-I-love-so-much would like me to add that I was sittng on her pillows, therefore deserving of being sat on.  I, on the other hand, would like to add that she took my keys and phone, which is I why sat on her pillows)
11. The Wii: that's right, a video game system.  Granted, we've only got two racing games, Super Mario Bros, Wii Fit, Wii Sport, and Wii Sport Resort, but that sister I fought tooth and nail for chocolate?  Well, I get to blow her up, push her off cliffs, stab her with a sword, and bounce of her head as much as I darn well please.  Or, if we are so inclined, work with her to beat up on everyone else.
12. A toaster that toasts evenly: I'm so tired of burnt toast.
13. My Doggie: always wanting affection, always giving affection.
14. Parents: they are among my favorite people in the world and I much prefer talking to them face to face.  Facebook chats and phone calls are in no way comparable to real life conversation. Not to mention my Mom is a fantastic inspiration, and my Dad can fix anything, even my hurting relationships.
15. Grandparents: especially those that call me Rachel Elf and tell me how proud they are of me and feed me Elf food when I help them do holiday things.  Oh, and then there's the Grandma who makes macaroni and cheese with bacon, and does anything sewing-related that I ask for.  I'm a pretty lucky girl!

Cliche?  Perhaps.  But I'm thankful for all of it anyway.

Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Romance

Romance.

Sometimes I think it is the most poorly defined word in society today, or perhaps the most under used.

Media portrays fit and fine people out dancing, drinking, and otherwise merry making.  The hot man manages to woo the sexy woman for a night of love making, and life goes on.  Maybe the relationship will continue, maybe it will end; but that depends on whether it is a movie or a tv show.

You could call this a romance, but it is also called a fling.  To fling is to throw away.  Children fling boogers.  I fling things out of my closet after deciding not to wear them.  Banana peels are flung into the garbage. 

No one needs to be treated like some one else's garbage.

Have some self respect and hold out for a real romance.

A real romance is like art.  It takes time and effort, mistakes are made, not everyone agrees what the final product should look like, and it lasts forever if properly perserved. Without constant effort the canvas becomes nothing more than a piece of trash.

Does it suck? Sometimes, yes.  If I ever figure out how not to wish I had a date on Valentine's Day or for Mr. Darcy to step out of the pages, I will be sure to let you know.  Heck, if you solve these problems tell me how!  But until then I plan to constantly remind myself that I deserve way more than to be some one else's garbage. God has much better plans for me (and you) than that!

Power of One

"Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all me." -Romans 5:18

One act condemned humanity to hell; one act gave us the oppurtunity to live in eternal bliss.

One person, one act, and history is changed. 

There is so much power in one.

Suffering is Necessary

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, becasue we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance character; and character hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God as poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us."  Romans 5:3-5

Why do we suffer?  So we can have hope. 

Can't God give us hope without suffering?  If we never suffered, we would not know what hope is.

Take Eve.  God told her not to eat the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  Then some snake comes along and tells her to, so she does.

It's easy to look at her and say how dumb she is.  God, the maker of heaven and earth, the awe-inspiring being who walks with you through the garden on a regular basis, says not to do something.  A lowly animal tells you that you should.  Who are you going to listen to?

When I thought about that, I instantly decided Eve must have been an idiot.

Then I wondered, did Eve know what "evil" meant?  I imagine the Garden of Eden had nothing evil in it, so how could she have really understood what eating the fruit from that tree would do?  Like telling a child the stove is hot, until they touch the red burners, they probably will not believe you.  Instead of believing God that eating the fruit was wrong, she decided to try it herself.

I wonder if I would have done the same thing.

Then I got to thinking; why would God even plant such a tree in the garden?  I mean, it was his decision to put it there.  And, being the all powerful being that he is, he knew what would happen because of it.

I believe God put it there because he does not want to make our choices for us.  Yes, ask him what to do and he will tell you, but God wanted Adam and Eve to choose for themselves if they were going to follow his perfect will for their lives, or not. This is the way God chose to let them make that decision..

Unfortunately, humanity is now forced to suffer.  But, God promises that through suffering, we will have hope, and hope will never fail us.

"Everything will be okay in the end.  If it's not okay, it's not the end." 

I'm afraid I don't know who said that, but I truely believe it.  So long as things are "not okay" there will be people with the gumption to fight back; there will be hope.  Without suffering, we cannot have hope.  Without hope, there are no expectations for the future, good or bad.  We would all probably kill ourselves.

For that reason, suffering is necessary because hope is vital.

3 Wishes

Once upon a time there lived a young woman named Rose. 

Poor Rose's garden looked utterly despondent.  Her flowers were browning, aphids had taken over, and the tomatoes refused to grow. In an effort to bring new life to her yard, she rolled up her sleeves and pushed her spade into the ground and withdrew a clump of earth. Returning her shovel to the ground, she heard a quiet "clink."  Curious, she pushed the dirt out of the way and discovered a teapot buried there.

Painted a deep shade of purple with elaborate gold filigree, Rose was surpised to find it there.  She removed it from the ground and worked to rub away the dirt with her coat sleeve.

Suddenly, the teapot began to vigorously shake! A puff of glitter spewed from the spout and a little girl appeared!

Wearing a gold tutu with purple polka-dots, she floated three feet above the ground in order to make herself eye level with Rose.  After taking a moment to adjust the golden curls surrounding a cheribic face, the little person bowed to Rose and said, "Your wish is my command!"

"Oh dear!" said Rose.  "What are you?"

"I am a genie, Rose.  I live in that teapot and only come out when it is rubbed by mortals. It is quite cozy, actually, andI would very much like to go back.  Unfortunatley I am doomed to remain out here until I grant three wishes for the bearer of the teapot."

"You enjoy living in this thing?" asked Rose.

"Yes I do!  I have filled it with the most wonderful things; sunshine, rainbows, crunchy leaves, green trees, and chocolate milk cows." 

At first Rose was suprised that so many things fit into that ordinary sized tea pot, but then she realized she was talking to a genie, and decided it was not worth meditating on.  Instead she asked what she should call her new companion.

"Gertrude," was the response. "But enough with the formalities, please Rose, let me grant you three wishes so that I may go back home."

Since she had been working in her garden anyway, Rose wished her garden was beautiful.

"As you wish," responded Gertrude, who pulled out a handkerchief and began sneezing. The cheerless garden turned into a flowering Eden, complete with water feature.  "I threw that in as a bonus," she explained.

Rose was astounded!  Her feet carried her around her new yard as she soaked in all the sights and smells.  Stunning flowers in a rainbow of colors, grass softer than a feather bed, and grape tomatoes the size of apples!

But Gertrude was impatient.  Floating in front of Rose as she wandered, she demanded another wish be asked.  "You have the rest of your life to enjoy your garden, now help me get back to mine!"

Rose looked around herself.  Between the branches of her vivacious apple tree, she could see her delapitated house.  The shutters were falling, the paint was peeling, the roof leaked, and the door was so difficult to open that Rose had resorted to climbing through the window.

"I wish my house could look like the darling country cottage it was intended to be."

Pulling out her hankie and falling into a second sneezing fit more violent than the last, Gertrude transformed the crumbling shack into a house directly out of a story book.  Painted yellow with a dark red door and calico curtains in the window, Rose fell instantly in love.

But before she could cross the threshold, Gertrude blocked her path once more.  "I will not let you in your home until you send me back to mine!"

Dissapointed, but not wanting to upset the Genie too much, Rose stepped back into her garden.

As she stood there, she caught a glimpse of herself in her new fountain. She despised her appearance.  Her hair never sat right, her cheeks always had a ruddy hue, and her nose seemed to be the most prominent feature on her face.

"My garden is beautiful, my house is beautiful, I wish I was beautiful too!"

Gertrude pulled out her hankie, made one, delicate sniffle, and zipped towards the teapot.  But Rose jerked it away as she turned to look at her reflection.

"Nothing has changed!" she cried in despair.  "You could grow my dying garden and fix my broken house, but I am so far gone that nothing can be done for me!"

Offended, Gertrude retorted, "Now wait a minute! I did my job, you are beautiful, so let me back to my house!"  Making a dash for her teapot, she caught sight of the tears streaming down Rose's face. With an exasperated sigh, she tried again.

"Your garden was pretty bad, so it took quite a sneeze to fix it. Your house was much worse, and it took even more sneezing to fix that. You, on the other hand, have always been beautiful.  All you took was a sniffle to get the dirt out from under your finger nails."

Rose looked at her, unconvinced.  "Then why do the other girls look so much prettier than me all the time?"

"Don't you know?  God made you beautiful in your own way, completely different than anyone else's beauty.  So stop crying and let me go home!"

Rose uncovered the teapot and Gertrude shrunk to the size of a push pin and slid down the spout.

Drying her eyes, Rose looked at her reflection once more. Her hair had too much life to sit a certain way, her cheeks were rosy, not ruddy, and her nose seemed much more appropriately sized than she realized.

Looking around her, she realized Gertrude must be right.  The Genie had enough power to make the garden utterly glorious and the house completely charming, Rose must be beautiful too.

Beauty, she decided, is not a scale with which to compare who is prettiest.  "Beauty simpy is, and it is all over me."

The Man Whose Daughter Died

"Don't be afraid; just believe," said Jesus to a man who had just heard his daughter was dead.

Not exactly what I would want to hear if my daughter just died. Seriously, grief has begun to cloud my mind.  "Just believe?"  Who the heck wants to hear that?

And yet, that is exactly what this man needed to hear!

This man's name was Jairus, and was a Synagogue Ruler.  He had found Jesus and asked him to come and heal his daughter at his house.  She was very sick, but Jairus believed that if Jesus put his hand on her, she would be healed.

Jesus, Jairus, and a large crowd were on their way to get this little girl healed, when some men from Jairus's house told him that his daughter was dead; that it was usless to bring Jesus over anymore. 

That's when Jesus said his line: "Don't be afraid; just believe."

The man continued to believe.

How do I know this?  Because when Jesus got to Jairus's house, he healed the little girl.  Without Jairus's faith, that could not have happened, but it did.  Faith was certainly there.

The moral of the story?  Yes, faith can do anything;, Jesus can do anything, but I believe there is more.  Jesus knew that when Jairus heard his daughter was dead, he would plunge into the depths of despair.  His mind would cloud; grief would take over.  Tears were going to flow, and hope would flee.  Jesus understood what those words would mean to Jairus.

So, instead of declaring "Well, you obviously don't have enough faith, so I'm gonna jet," Jesus said "What a second; don't panic.  I've got this.  Just believe in me like you did before.  Nothing has really changed, I can still do this."

Jesus had grace for the poor Jairus. Grace grace grace.  Whenever our faith is fleeting, whenever we are ready to despair, Jesus has grace.

P.S. This story can be found in Mark 5:21-43

The Bleeding Woman

A woman was bleeding for twelve years. Anything she did to get better only made it worse.

Misery.

Taking a step of faith, she saw Jesus in a crowd and manuvered close to him. Reaching out and touching the edge of his cloak, she was healed. Twelve years of shame, and pain, gone.

Despite the fact that Jesus was surrounded by people touching him, pushing against him, pressing close upon him, he knew that one woman had touched him.  He wanted to see her face and speak to her. She mattered that much to him.  It was not important that he was supposed to be going with a Synogogue Ruler to his house; Mr. Big Cheese could wait.  Jesus needed to talk to this woman.

The woman fell at his feet, trembling with fear, and told him what happened.  He told her "Daughter, your faith has healed you.  Go in peace and be freed from your suffering."

Faith.

After twelve long years.  After many, many doctors who only made her condition worse.  After suffering continuously, without respite.  After being shut out from society.  After having shame reaped on upon her head.  After all of this, she had faith enough to try one more thing. 

Heck, who knows?  Perhaps her mind was filled with doubt.  Perhaps the screams telling her it would not work all but drowned out the tiny whisper of hope; but that tiny whisper was all it took.  That miniscule breeze that could scarcely stir the fog of despair was all the faith it took to reach for the cloak hem and heal 12 years of suffering.

Woah. 

If that little faith can accomplish that much, then why haven't the Christians of the world stepped up and used it yet?

P.S.  This story can be found in Mark 5:25-34

Eye Contact

Imagine a beautiful fall day.  The sun is shining, the leaves are crunch, and the air is just crisp enough for to wear your new coat.  Glorious.

You stroll down the sidewalk, feeling in good humor with the rest of the world, and see a stranger striding towards you.

Uh-oh. Dilema.

Do you smile at them?  Because if they don't smile back you might feel like an idiot.  But if they smile and you don't, you'll look like a jerk.  How about a head nod?  A head nod has far too many potential implications!  They might think all kinds of things about a head nod! Oh no, time is running out!  They have almost stepped into "acceptable greeting" distance!  AND you made eye contact!  No turning back now, do something!

In a panic, you press your lips against your teeth, hoping you look cheerful--and they do the same thing back.  This, awkward facial expression is not quite smile; teeth are not shown and the cheeks are not at all lifted.

This expression is in fact a grimace.

Instead of a friendly, kind face that shares the joys of the day, the general population has reduced their greetings to a grimace as if to share the burden of this life; a proof that you are not alone in your misery.

Good grief. Eye contact is just no fun anymore.

Blushes

God blushes.  

I know this because when I sincerely tell him how wonderful he is, I can feel the heat from his cheeks warm me to the core.