Clueless

I have no idea why I am going to Europe.

I am not saying I do not want to, but I really don't understand why!

Why would I leave the country when I feel like I have so much to contribute here?  Why should I spend extra money traveling the world, when I really should be cutting costs and saving money?  Why am I taking classes that do not seem to relate to my life calling? Why would God put me in this situation? Why, why why?

I do not know.

"...in the same way, no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God." -1 Corinthian 2:11b

Once again, I am left walking where towards the coordinates God has set for me, without any idea why.

To all who read this; if you ever catch me doubting if I should be going to/in Europe, remind me that I am a donkey.

Relinquish, the prayer ministry I am the administrative assistant for, hosted an event called Encounter Night: a chance for students to encounter God.  One room was set apart for private conversations with God, while some one led acoustic worship.  I sat in that room and told God all the reasons I should not go to Europe.  He directed me to Job 38.

Do you know that song, "Who has told every lightening bolt where it should go?  Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow?"  As I read those words (Job 38:22), the worship leader was singing them. Apparently, God really wanted to get my attention, so I kept reading.

Job 39:5-8 says this:

"Who let the wild donkey go free?  Who untied his ropes?  I gave him the wasteland as his home, the salt flats as his habitat. He laughs at the commotion in the town; he does not hear a driver's shout.  He ranges the hills for his pasture, and searches for any green thing."

I thought to myself, "How cool God!  You care enough for a donkey, a mere beast of burden, to give him a chance to enjoy himself!"  Then it dawned on me.  I am a donkey.  God has untied my ropes so I can wander France, Italy, and Switzerland without worrying about the things going on at home!

Granted, the things happening at home are likely to weigh heavily on my mind, but God will not make it any harder than I can handle.  He has instructed me to laugh and enjoy myself. 

Therefore, when I ask you why God would send me to Europe at a time like this, tell me I am a donkey, (which, ironically enough, is also called an ass) and God told me to go enjoy myself.  With any luck, that will squelch the doubts bubbling from my throat and remind me that God knows what he is doing, even if I am not permitted to understand it all. 

With any luck, I'll remember to thank you.  If I bite off your head instead, please forgive me; I'll try my best to be graceful.