How Good I Am Not

I have been a church kid my whole life.  In fact, it is hard to remember a Sunday without a church service of some sort.  I know many verses, thousands of worship songs, and most bible stories.  I even used to teach a Sunday school class on a regular basis.  I know Jesus is my provider, my protector, my healer, my comforter, and he loves me more than I could possibly imagine; but some how between the Sunday school classes, summer camps, and missions trip, I never really understood a very important aspect of the Christian faith-Jesus as my Savior.  The one to rescue me from the horrible things I have done.

I have never done any of the "big" sins; never murdered, never abused any substances, never had pre-marital sex, and never robbed even a piggy bank.  I have told lies, disobeyed and disrespected my parents, treated my sisters badly, been extremely prideful, and horribly judged people before I knew them.  Even so, I've never had "that moment."  The one where you find yourself covered in the filth of your own mistakes, at the end of your rope, in the deepest hole you can dig, and desperately need Jesus to save you from your sins.  I have always considered myself to be a pretty good person; at least until I read this verse:

"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins." James 4:17

Woah.

I am a terribly sinful person.

How could anyone possibly live up to that standard?!  To be so completely selfless that they do all the good that they know they ought to do? Always have a listening ear, never say the mean thing on the tip of their tongue, always take less and share more, always give the homeless person a dollar or a meal, always do what they know to be right. 

It is impossible.  It goes completely against human nature.  Without an immense amount of help from Jesus and an incredibly strong will it can never be completely accomplished.  I can only imagine the millions of times I have not done the good thing I ought to do, and the BILLIONS of times to come when I will not do what I know to be right.

Suddenly I realize how much I need Jesus to be my Savior.  Only he can rescue me from both how bad I am, and how good I am not.