Inadequacy is Irrelevant

Grief.

It is as though a wild beast tears a chunk of flesh from your arm, leaving muscles, nerves, and blood vessels exposed to the world and it hurts.  It hurts to look at.  It hurts to touch.  It hurts when it comes into contact with air.

It is a place where all you feel is pain.  There is no option but to dwell in the sadness.

This is where Mary Magdalene, James's Mom and Salome found themselves.  The man they had called Teacher and Master, who they had voluntarily served, who they had dedicated their lives to, who spoke the words that touched their very souls, died.

Gone.

Forever.

They went to Jesus's tomb, so distracted by grief they did not plan for the mammoth stone that would prevent them from reaching their goal. Only after they had almost arrived did they realize they could not accomplish their task alone.

Tearfully, they reached their teacher's resting place and saw their inadequacy did not matter.

The stone had been rolled away.

It did not matter what they could not do, because the Lord did it for them.

Their inadequacy was irrelevant.

The task was complete.

The most permanent thing had been reversed, the most impossible thing accomplished.

Jesus had risen!

And he did it without the help of anyone.

Dear Jesus,

I thank you that nothing I can or cannot do matters. My failures do not matter.  My poor planning does not matter.  My weaknesses do not matter.  Thank you that everything is covered by your grace.  Thank you for using me for your glory anyway.

I love you.

Amen.

When the Sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices, so that they might go and anoint him. ² And very early on the first day of the week, when the sun had risen, they went to the tomb. ³ And they were saying to one another, “Who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance of the tomb?” ⁴ And looking up, they saw that the stone had been rolled back—it was very large. ⁵ And entering the tomb, they saw a young man sitting on the right side, dressed in a white robe, and they were alarmed. ⁶ And he said to them, “Do not be alarmed. You seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has risen; he is not here. See the place where they laid him.

 Mark 16: 1-6

How Good I Am Not

I have been a church kid my whole life.  In fact, it is hard to remember a Sunday without a church service of some sort.  I know many verses, thousands of worship songs, and most bible stories.  I even used to teach a Sunday school class on a regular basis.  I know Jesus is my provider, my protector, my healer, my comforter, and he loves me more than I could possibly imagine; but some how between the Sunday school classes, summer camps, and missions trip, I never really understood a very important aspect of the Christian faith-Jesus as my Savior.  The one to rescue me from the horrible things I have done.

I have never done any of the "big" sins; never murdered, never abused any substances, never had pre-marital sex, and never robbed even a piggy bank.  I have told lies, disobeyed and disrespected my parents, treated my sisters badly, been extremely prideful, and horribly judged people before I knew them.  Even so, I've never had "that moment."  The one where you find yourself covered in the filth of your own mistakes, at the end of your rope, in the deepest hole you can dig, and desperately need Jesus to save you from your sins.  I have always considered myself to be a pretty good person; at least until I read this verse:

"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins." James 4:17

Woah.

I am a terribly sinful person.

How could anyone possibly live up to that standard?!  To be so completely selfless that they do all the good that they know they ought to do? Always have a listening ear, never say the mean thing on the tip of their tongue, always take less and share more, always give the homeless person a dollar or a meal, always do what they know to be right. 

It is impossible.  It goes completely against human nature.  Without an immense amount of help from Jesus and an incredibly strong will it can never be completely accomplished.  I can only imagine the millions of times I have not done the good thing I ought to do, and the BILLIONS of times to come when I will not do what I know to be right.

Suddenly I realize how much I need Jesus to be my Savior.  Only he can rescue me from both how bad I am, and how good I am not.